Comic Book Review: Female Furies #1

Where we note is that if you’re a regular, you know, don’t read comics, you’ll love this little series. If you’re a fan of comics, you’ll probably look at it and go, “meh” and if you’re a Jack Kirby fan of the world of Forth, you’ll be offended, and not in a good way.

Stupid Furat Boys and beauty pageants

[easyazon_link identifier=”B07L49PRP4″ locale=”US” tag=”boundingintocomics-20″]Female Rage #1[/easyazon_link] It is a case of DC bringing a writer with a clever idea and letting it circulate without editorial oversight. It’s clear from the first page that Cecil Castellucci is fleetingly familiar with the public characters who live in the stories of The 4th World, and that’s where her knowledge base stops. In the nearly 50 years of stories told in this world, no one has missed the characterization mark by this wide margin, even John Byrne respecting Kirby’s work enough to keep each character consistent.

Every male character in this story behaves like a stupid boy, and every female character just wants a chance to get out and fight for the cause. It’s so absurd to tell stories that a few minutes of wiki research could have solved. Castellucci divides the story perspective between Granny Goodness and the character Aurelie is not entirely new. Grandma just wants her girl fighters to be able to go out and play with the guys, and the best and brightest of them all is Aurelie, who is originally an outcast from Barda’s original story in [easyazon_link identifier=”B01N9W956T” locale=”US” tag=”boundingintocomics-20″]Mr. Miracle V1 #9[/easyazon_link]No, you know, cold. In the course of the first issue, Granny Goodness is pretty much raped by Darkseid who forces her so little seductive dialogue that even L Ron Hubbard has startled. “The battle makes me hungry for what food cannot fill. Come here, Lord.” Then the boys proceed to accuse her of using sex to get favors from their boss while shamefully giving her responsibility for the orphanage because she’s, you know, a woman and obviously good with kids, my princess?

But wait there is more!

For some inexplicable reason, the ruling children of Apocalypse consist of Desade, Steppenwolf, Glorious Godfrey, and another character of Barda story origin called Willick. (If anyone is wondering what issue Castellucci read out of the 50 years of the story to make for her mini-series Female Furies, I’d bet.) It may get in the way of the story like to say; Amazing blessingAnd the Mrs. Justin or Mortala. It takes Granny Goodness so many years to train her feminine rage that she ages from fighting a beautiful battle to the classic Granny Goodness we all know and hate. Oddly enough, no one ages this way.

Grandma is finally given a chance to show the ladies what they can do, but the boys don’t have it and submit the Furies to a Bake-Off Contest, an Evening Gown Contest, and a Swimsuit Contest they strangely call a smile contest, all of them of course failing. So, let’s ignore the fact that the weakest of Female Furies is perfectly capable of kicking the collected donkeys of all but Darkseid. Let’s get past the fact that Granny Goodness has always been the most sadistic, evil, evil-eared tormentor of Darkseid’s recruitment. Let’s not even acknowledge the fact that Darkseid has never been shy about throwing females into a meat grinder in his eternal war with New Genesis. Finally, we will gladly pass over the fact that Apokolips has always been a vicious merit as the most vicious and conniving snakes rise to the top and everyone is food for the hungry dogs. This is terrible lazy writing.

Don’t hold back Dan, tell us how lazy he is

Here’s how dirty this story really is. There is an easy #metoo story here. It begins with Big Barda escaping to Earth and ends sometime after a female Furies finds her. You can tell that mostly in flashbacks, you can show how cool she is running away and give her more depth than just following her husband. You can show the escape of the Female Furies to come after them and make them at least come to terms with Barda and Scott, if not with each other, and you can keep everyone’s personality and do your #metoo story. It’s literally that easy.

At least the art isn’t that bad

Adriana Melo’s art for this problem is serviceable. She has some issues with forced perspective, and the placement of her characters within the paintings, but for the most part it serves the story adequately. The only thing I found really distracting was O’Reilly’s clothes. Melo does an excellent job of keeping the original Kirby designs, except for this one character. She looks like an extra from Shang-Chi Master of Kung Fu and that makes her look ridiculous. Milo is another artist who would be better off not inking her pencils. With the help of a professional, I think a lot of her perspective issues would have become less clear.

The Wrap Up With Hot Dog

I actually made my wife read this issue. She’s not much of a comic book reader other than the Ted Nayfeh or Roman Derg or Serena Valentino cases I throw at her. As far as the DC universe goes, it qualifies as regular. I read this issue and found it a nice little critique of the processions, and a weird critique of the glass ceiling policy. So, there’s your audience for this, women who don’t buy comics, don’t really read comics, and aren’t interested enough in comics to never recommend them.

But it sparked a conversation when I wondered why I was so upset [easyazon_link identifier=”B07L49PRP4″ locale=”US” tag=”boundingintocomics-20″]Female Rage #1[/easyazon_link], and I’ll use the same illustration I used with it. Fans of any work of serial fantasy have reasonable expectations about how the characters will act and react. James Bond will always make fun of him, bad guys will always talk about him. Superman will always be the big blue scout. He will always stand up for truth, justice, and the American way. He’s not a dead father and never will be, which is why Man of Steel failed. You’ve seen the movie, you get it.

To paraphrase a metaphor from mah boi Zack; When you write established comics and long-running novels, you are not an artist. You are a hot dog seller. There are many toppings and seasonings you can use to make hot dogs, but it’s best if your end result is a sausage. These are not your characters. You are responsible for the intellectual property rights of the company. If you want to serve up a plate of spaghetti, get out of the hot dog shop. That’s what Image and the massive group of independent comedy companies do. Go into character writing without nearly 50 years of backstory and characterization and you won’t have to worry about writing a story that requires some research. It is not difficult to understand this concept.

Comic Book Review: Female Furies #1

Positives

  • Mostly a great job honoring Kirby’s designs.
  • The artwork serves the story.
  • Good idea for a story.

Negatives

  • The story idea is poorly executed
  • Don’t search for characters.
  • Art has perspective issues.

2.5Final total

Reader Rating:5 votes)

2.1

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